Afterthoughts

I wonder how long it is really going to take for this to sink in. Every time my thoughts turn to Todd my heart aches and my body kind of goes numb. It hurts. And if I think about how much I hurt I can only imagine how much Toby is hurting. And Kathy. And Tory and his family, and TJ and Teren. We miss him so much. We miss both his loud outgoing personality and his quiet pensive one. The kids miss playing charades with him and calling him on the phone to tell him about one of their accomplishments. He always got so excited. That's why it was always so fun to give him gifts. He made you feel like you picked out the most absolute perfect thing for him. I look back and think about how wonderful everyone around us was to us. Our family, friends, neighbors, ward members....everyone took such amazing care of us. Toby and I have discussed on numerous occasions how it make us want to be better people and do more things for others. This event has changed us in so many ways. Heavenly Father has a plan for us. For each of us. He knows what we need before we know what we need. Sometimes our will doesn't line up with his and its in these moments that our faith is really tried. Being willing to have the faith not to be healed. Being willing to say not my will but thine be done. And then turning to our Heavenly Father and our Savior for the peace and comfort that we need during our difficult moments. I imagine that we will be doing that for a long long time...forever. Oh how we miss him!!!!!