I honestly do not even know where to start. I'll probably have to break this up into a bunch of separate posts in order to keep all of my thoughts and the events organized. These last few weeks have been some we will never forget. Lots of ups and downs so the best way I know how to describe it is a total rollercoaster ride. Ever since week 16 of this pregnancy I have been bleeding. I've had two subchorionic hemorrhages that just wouldn't go away. This has caused a lot of concern for both me and my Drs. Every single week and sometimes event two times a week I would go in for ultrasounds to make sure they weren't getting bigger. Sometimes they would be and sometimes they would be smaller. When I would bleed heavily I would be on pretty strict bed rest, but then other times it would be as bad and I'd just be on modified bed rest. I went to see a specialist twice and other than that just monitored the bleeds and the baby pretty closely. Then on Monday, August 18th everything went south. I was on the phone with my Mom and I just started bleeding really heavily. The thing is that this happened a lot, but I was started to feel like this one was different because it just wasn't stopping. I told my mom what was going on and told her I felt like I needed to tell Toby. So I got off the phone with her and called Toby. I don't think he was that concerned because again, I told him all the time I was bleeding heavily. He just told me to call my doctor if I needed to. So I decided to get in the bathtub. I asked Elle if she would mind watching Tate and Cash downstairs and I got in the bathtub. But the blood didn't stop...it turned the water red. Gross I know...I decided to drain it and start the water over. But it happened again. It was really starting to freak me out. I called my doctor and left a message but they didn't call right back so I called them again and this time begged the front desk to get my nurse on the phone. Amy, my sweet nurse, answered and asked what was going on. When I told her she told me I needed to get to the hospital and asked if I need an ambulance. I told her no, that I would get my Mom to take me. I then called my Mom and she said she would head right over, but I felt like she should come and be with my kids and that I should just drive myself over to Riverton Hospital since it was only a mile away. Big mistake. I left the kids knowing that my Mom would be right there and headed to the hospital. When I pulled into the parking lot I was shaking so badly and I had lost so much blood that I was extremely lightheaded. Next thing I know I had driven into some landscaping and hit a huge Rock. I don't even remember turning into it or doing it. All I know is I could tell the car was super beat up and I could barely get it to a parking spot. A couple people came running over to see if I was okay...and I was just bawling saying I needed help. Somehow I got up to labor and delivery and they got me back to a room pretty quickly. I was so scared. It wasn't much longer that my mom and gotten a friend of mine to babysit and she was with me. I had her call Toby to tell him what was going on but he was driving home from Richfield and his car was heating up every twenty minutes or so. It was so frustrating for me. I was so nervous to tell him what I had done to the car too, although I was mostly worried about how much blood I was losing. The nurses got me all hooked up to the monitors so right away I knew my baby was okay. The next part was thee WORST. The nurse didn't want me moving so they put a catheter in me...with no epidural obviously. It KILLED. I was so uncomfortable and in so much pain. It was burning and it made me feel like I had to go to the bathroom really bad but couldn't and it was giving me all sorts of spasms. I wanted it out so badly but they wouldn't. They started giving me pain meds for it instead. The blood eventually started slowing down. After an hour or two Dr. Moreland showed up and did an assessment on every thing and told me that I had hemorrhaged but the baby was doing well and we'd just watch things for awhile. They took my blood to find out my hematocrit score and it came back at 34 which is low...but okay. I think it was about an hour after that that she okayed the catheter being taken out and that hurt just as bad. They decided to keep me over night to watch everything. - My mom headed home to be with the kids when Toby finally showed up. I was so happy to see him but bawled telling him about the car. A bit later some of my friends showed up to visit, Tara and Jamie which was so sweet of them. And then Bishop Bawden and his wife. They all got after me for not calling them to give me a ride. I really should have called. One of Toby's old room mates from College happened to be there with his wife delivering a baby so he came by to say hi and we all visited for awhile. It seemed like things were calming down and we were going to bed when we got a phone call from Doctor Moreland and they had gotten the results back from my second blood draw and my hematocrit score had dropped to a 26 after losing all the blood. She felt like that required a blood transfusion and thought I'd be better off at IMC in murray where they have a great NICU just in case my baby needed to be delivered. I really didn't want to go because it was so much further away but I wanted my baby to be safe. They made me go by ambulance, which again I kind of threw a fit about, but I followed the rules and Toby drove behind me. Next thing I knew I was admitted to the IMC hospital and that was the beginning of my adventure there!
I turned on the tv and a certain cartoon came on.
C: Mom! I used to watch this show when I was just a kid.
03/11
I was on a girls night out with my friends when I accidently called toby. He was upstairs yelling "Josie" into his phone trying to get my attention. Elle came upstairs and said, "Dad she's not here!" He said, "oh I know elle she accidently called me so I was just trying to get her to hear me." Elle says, "Oh...she bummed dialed ya, huh?"
What??!!!! How does she know this??
02/23/11
Elle ran out of toilet paper so started calling to Cash to get her some. After 3 attempts and him saying he's just too tired she yells to me. I told her to ask Cash. "He's too tired!" She yells. Right then Cash says to me, "mom will you play with me?" She hears this and says, "oh never mind mom, I stand corrected, he's not too tired." -
02/24/2011
After "losing" Cash for a minute at the gym daycare:
E: Mom when I found him my heart took the biggest deep breath and my brain was like so happy. I just wanted to hug him!
05/2010
E: Mom I have to tell you something about myself that's different that I think you're going to be really happy about. I like lettuce now. And green beans.
02/2010
E: Mom I'm so happy for you. You've worked so hard today.
J: How do you know?
E: Well you made dinner and now you're making me these flowers for my room.
J: What about making breakfast and lunch, and the 3 loads of laundry, the dishes, cleaning yours and Cash's rooms, vaccuuming the whole house, the bathrooms, cleaning the basement, and organizing your closets...Did you know I did all that too?
E: No, but now that you mention it I did see vaccuum lines in my room.
02/2010
After Elle did something funny that reminded me of Toby
J: Elle I swear you and your Dad are the same person
E: No we're not mom. My face is a circle and Dad's is an oval!
01/2010
After getting off the phone frustrated because Elle was talking to me at the same time
J: Elle! Can I talk to two people at the same time? I only have one mouth!!!
E: No. But you do have two ears so you can listen to me and them and then just answer me when you're off.
J: (nothing...I had nothing.)
12/2009
After asking Toby for something and he said no Elle came to me. When I said Daddy already said no she said, "I know but you're in charge of Daddy."
11/09
We were driving around on some errands
E: Mom where are we?
J: Murray
E: Oh. That's too bad.
J: What's too bad?
E: This seems like a fun place. It's too bad they named it Murray.
09/2009
Cash and I (Josie) had been taking turns giving each other colds off and on for about a week. Elle finally got this bright idea and said, "Mom! I know what you need to do! You and Cash keep cuddling and giving each other colds back and forth back and forth. You just need to find someone not in this family and cuddle with them. Oh and it would be best if it was someone you didn't like."
09/2009
After Elle got in a little trouble and was in time out she got off the chair and said, "Mom do you forgive me?" I said, "Of course I do." She said, "Good. Cause if you didn't you'd be holding a grunge."
07/2009
E: Mom are you proud of me for being so nice to Cash?
J: Yep...I'm really proud.
E: So are you thinking of something really nice you can do for me?
07/2009
J: Elle Mommy has to get this done...can you please help me with Cash and talk to him for a minute.
E: Sure mom. I'll try and find the energy to.
07/2009
Elle was laying flat upon the top part of our couch and I kept telling her she was going to fall off. After the 3rd time I told her...she fell off. I had a hard time being sympathetic but I put my arms around her and asked her why she didn't listen to me.
E: I didn't hear you. (Sobbing)
J: Yes you did. I said it right to you.
E: Well next time you might need to use a microphone!
05/09
E: Mom I know who the 1st people on earth were...Adam and Eve. And they ate the bad fruit cause the bad man told them too.
J: That's right Elle...but they only made that bad choice once and then they decided to follow Heavenly Father from now on. E: Well how did he know they chose the wrong?
J: He's always watching us so He knows when we choose the right or wrong.
E: So what does he do just watch us with a telescope?
05/09
E: Mom I don't want to turn 8. I don't mind turning 7 but not 8.
J: Well I don't want you turn 8 anytime soon either elle, but why not?
E: Because when I turn 8 I get baptized and I don't have a good pair of goggles right now.
05/09
J: Elle be nice to your cute baby brother!
E: Well actually ...I don't think he looks that cute with his new haircut.
04/2009
E: Cash! That's not how you do it. Allow me to demonstrate.
04/2009
I had Elle and Cash in the bathtub together and Cash kind of slipped a little so out of curiousity I asked Elle if she'd know what to do if Cash slipped under the water.
E: Sure I'd just save him
J: Really? And how would you do that?
E: I'd just put some goggles on him.
(i think she's ready to babysit now)
03/2009
This morning I told Elle we had a lot to do cause it was her day for dance and preschool.
E: How did you know I had those 2 things today?
J: I'm your mom and I know everything.
E: Well I'm a girl and girls know everything too.
(Yep. They sure do.)
03/09
E: Dad you're my very best friend. And I have A LOT of friends!
03/2009
As we pulled in to St. George Elle started talking about how excited she was to see her friends Bryson, Brielle and Trey. Then she said, "Dad why don't bryson and brielle want to live in Riverton? Hope and Caleb do. Everyone lives in Riverton!
We were picking up some food at Arby's and Elle kept saying she wanted a cheeseburger. Toby kept telling her they don't have cheeseburgers here...just roast beef. After telling her this over and over I whispered to Toby, "she'll be fine, she doesn't even know what roast beef is." Elle heard me and said, "I do to know mom. Roast beef is chicken!"
03/2009
I was painting Elle's toenails when she said, "Wow mom! This smells good." I smiled and kept on painting. A minute later she said, "Mom- this is smelling really really good." - NO more nail painting for Elle for a while :)
02/2009
Cash walked up to Elle and put his arms around her for a hug. She gave him one back and said, "Awww... thanks Cash. I can feel your love for me."
02/2009
I promised Elle a surprise if she was really good at preschool and didn't get the "Red Chair." I found her a little fairy book full of sparkles and cute pictures. When she opened it she said, "Wow thanks mom! I've wanted this book since I was just a little girl."
01/2009
Elle and I were watching one of her cartoons and it was talking about recycling and keeping our world clean. So when it was over I said, "So what do you think we can do to keep our world clean?" Elle says, "Not throw up on it." Good thinking Elle
01/2009
Funniest conversation between Toby and Elle. Elle had gotten out a game and had the pieces everywhere all over her room.
T: Oh no Elle...mom's going to mad when she sees this!
E: Mad at you?
T: Why would she be mad at me? I didn't do it.
E: Can we tell her Cash did it?
T: We can't tell her Cash did it if you did it.
E: Well Did you see me do it?
T: ARHHH
01/2009
After a disagreement between Elle and Cash over her sharing her toys with him I said, "Now Elle...Do you think that's choosing the right? No reply. But a few seconds later she yelled, "Mom Cash's isn't choosing the right...Cause he's buggin me.
01/09
One particular day when I felt like Elle had about talked my head off I finally looked at her and said, "Elle! please stop talking for one minute." She looked at me and said, "Why Mom? I like to talk. That's what humans do. They talk.
12/08
As the boy passing the sacrament put it in front of Elle she looked up at him and said, "Oh, No Thanks." Loud I might add. 11/08
As we were driving in the car the radio had an advertisment that was asking for a Big Cash Giveaway this holiday season. It continued on saying please donate Cash and give away as much Cash as you can.
E: Mom! I don't want to give Cash away.
J: (laughing to myself) you don't want to give him away?
E: NO!
J: Then what should we do?
E: I know! Let's brake the radio so it will never say that again!
11/08
I've been attempting to teach Elle that all she has to do is ask me ONE time for whatever it is she needs and I'll do my best to get it for her right away. None of this asking 15 times. This morning I asked her what she wanted for breakfast. As I was reaching in the cabinet I realized I hadn't been paying attention to her answer so I asked her again.
E: "Mom, how many times do you need to ask me what I want?"
J: "Just one Elle." (with a smile on my face)
E: "Okay and how many times did you ask me?"
J: "Two times."
E: "So are you sorry?"
busted
11/08
Elle really wanted to smell one of my candles that was high up on the wall in a sconce. I told her not right now it was too high. She kept insisting she needed to smell it. After the third "no" i finally said okay. After she was done smelling it she said, "Thanks Mom. That was refreshing."
11/01/08
Elle had gotten all of her toys out of her toy box looking for something and they were scattered everywhere.
J: Elle it's time to pick up all your toys and put them away
E: That's okay mom. That might make me tired.
J: Guess what? Mommy's been picking up the entire day and it makes me tired too but I still do it. So please pick them up.
E: Ugh! Mom...sometimes you just don't understand me!
10/20/08
Toby and Elle were downstairs together when Toby decided to go upstairs and change into his church clothes. When he came back down Elle must have thought it was quite the change because she exclaimed, "Wow. Dad you look a fricken adorable!"
10/08
Elle was laying on my bed and Cash's blanket was apparently too close for her comfort. She chucked it across the room.
J: Elle why did you just do that?
E: Cause it was in my grill
09/08
E: Mom who's Cash going to marry?
J: He doesn't know yet.
E: It's okay Cash. I'll marry you.
(yikes)
09/08
Cash was squeezing Elle's arm and she couldn't stop giggling. Finally she said, "Cash! Stop trying to get milk out of me!"
09/08
Toby took Elle on the giant Farris Wheel that's inclosed and swings as you go around at California Adventure.
J: Elle did you go on that giant Farris Wheel with Daddy?!
E: No mom. They're called swinging gondolas.
(my bad...how in the world did she know that?)
09/08
We bought Elle a little Minnie Mouse doll at Disneyland that comes with changes of clothes and accessories. As she was going through all the little tiny brushes and mirrors she came across a little cell phone. She said, "Wow mom! I didn't know mouses had cell phones."
09/08
J: Did you have a bad dream last night Elle?
E: No
J: Did you have a good dream?
E: No. Medium big girls don't know how to get good dreams out of their heads.
09/08
T: Elle do you like horses?
E: Ya I do like horses. But they stink.
08/08
Elle's going to be going to preschool at a friends house in our neighborhood. As we were going on a walk past it I said, "Elle that's where you're going to be going to preschool in a couple of months." She said, "No it's not." I said, "Yes it is." She said, "No it's not Mom. Schools don't have garages." She has a point. 07/08
J: Elle go grab me a tissue so I can help you blow your nose.
E: Oh no thanks mom. I'll just blow it back in.
07/08
Every Wednesday a couple of my friends and our kids have a standing swim date at another friends pool in our ward. For some reason we couldn't get Elle to get in this time. She was all lotioned up and had her floaties on but she would not do more than dangle her feet in. After 45 minutes and one last attempt at coaxing her in she exclaimed, " I don't want to mess my hair up!" Wow.
06/08
After an extremely short prayer offered by Elle
J: We need to practice saying a little bit of a longer prayer huh Elle?
E: I can't say a long prayer Mom... See look how little my legs are!
05/28/08
J: Hey Elle... do you want to go swimming today?
E: Oh no thanks Mom. I need to go to Target today.
05/15/08
We were passing the temple by Day Break that's undergoing construction.
E: OH NO!
J: What Elle?
E: The temple is still yellow and now I can't get married tomorrow!
04/30/08
T: Elle are you picking your nose?!
E: NO! I'm just getting the bugs out.
04/27/08
Toby teasing Elle
T: Cash is so happy your his big brother!
E: I'm not a boy dad! I'm a girl...see look...I have eyebrows!"
04/2008
We were watching Dancing with the Stars and Elle was playing in the background and then suddenly looked up and stared at the show for a minute. As serious as could be she exclaimed,
"Hey! Those are my dance moves!"
04/2008
Elle and Tob swimming together
T: Aren't you just a little fish?
E: I'm not a fish dad! I'm a princess. (very concerned)
03/2008
Tob and I were driving through Spanish Fork Canyon today and the conversation went something like this:
T: Elle we're going to have so much fun driving right through those mountains!
E: No Dad, we have to go under them.
T: Nope we're going to go right through them.
Elle's bottom lip starts quivering and big tears start running down her face.
T: Elle what's wrong?
E: I want to go home.
T: Why? We're going to have fun today.
E: No! We're going to crash!
03/10/08
We woke up to snow last Sunday morning. On the way to Church as we passed all the houses covered in snow Elle yelled, "Oh no! All the houses are ruined!"
03/02/08
Toby was singing "You are my Sunshine" to Elle but when he got to the first 'sunshine' Elle exclaimed, "No Dad! I'm your moon."
02/27/08
(Yelling into me while I'm in the bathroom)
E: Mom are you going to the bathroom?
J: Yes Elle
E: On the big toilet?
J: Yes Elle
E: Oh Mom...I'm so proud of you!
02/22/08
E: Dad I'm not a baby anymore. I growed up.
02/20/08
J: Elle did you seriously just do that?!
E: Oh come on mom! It was an accident! ( she'd never said that before)
J: (silent)
E: It wasn't your fault mom
J: (still silent)
E: You've got to talk to me (followed by the cutest mischievious smile)
02/17/08
After a little disagreement with a friend..
J: Elle are you okay?
E: Look at my face mom...there's no smile on it.
02/16/08
She was all bundled up in her snow clothes so tight that she looked like a little pink marshmellow and couldn't move...then she fell over.
J: Elle are you alright?
E: Ya I think so
J: Need help up?
E: Oh...no. I can handle this.
02/16/08
After leaving Grandma's house when she really put up a fight to stay...
No comments:
Post a Comment