How to even start with our experiences in the NICU. Looking back I have such fond memories of it, but I'll be honest....it was HARD. Hard to still be recovering physically from all the loss of blood, the pain-meds, the c-section, the bed rest, from all of it and still have to drive up to the hospital everyday because I didn't want to be away from my baby. I knew he needed me. I stayed in the hospital for about 4 or 5 days after the delivery, which was much needed. It was bitter/sweet because I was so grateful that everything turned out okay and that my baby was doing so well, but difficult because I was so beyond exhausted and still in so much pain. In fact at one point right after the surgery after I was off the iv pain meds and I was on morphine the pill that they gave me really didn't work. It kicked in for about 15 minutes and then was done and those next 45 minutes until they could give me another were some of the longest of my life. I was in SO MUCH pain. It honestly felt like someone was holding a curling iron on my stomach and they wouldn't lift it off. Each minute felt like an hour. I was so grateful I had Toby and my mom and dad there holding my hands. They were always there for me. I didn't get to go see Kemp very much because walking was even a challenge, but Toby kept his eye on him and the nurses in the NICU are second to none. They all LOVED our little Kempers. One in particular, Melissa, really took a liking to him and asked to be his primary care nurse. We were always so grateful when we'd call and she was there because we knew he was getting extra extra special love and attention. The first two weeks he was in the NICU my Dad drove me to the hospital almost every day since I couldn't drive myself. I'd stay as long as I could to do his little cares, do skin to skin, and just soak up his sweet little spirit. I was so grateful for my Dad driving me to and from and sacrificing his time for us. It was nice when I could finally drive myself there and started trying to go twice a day instead of just once. I'll admit there were quite a few melt-downs on my part during his month there. I felt like I was being pulled in a million different directions. My baby really needed me, but so did my other 3 children at home. Nothing was getting done. No homework, no church callings, no dinners, no nothing. Toby was doing all he could and we were surrounded by family and friends chipping in EVERY day, taking Tate so I could go to the hospital, bringing dinners knowing mom wasn't home and while I will be eternally grateful I can't believe all the guilt that came with it. I felt so bad feeling like it was MY job that everyone else was doing. They were hard times. I think the hardest was leaving Tate daily. Dropping him off at all my friends houses all the time was hard for me. He really struggled not while he was gone but when he was home. In fact I would cry just seeing how different he was and how difficult he had become when it was just me and him because he was always fussy and throwing way more tantrums that normal. It broke my heart thinking that I had in some way done that to him. But there was so much good too. So much service and I couldn't ignore the fact that my baby was thriving. Every day he was taking baby steps towards being able to feed on his own and breath while he nursed. One day I was on my way to the hospital like normal and I called to tell the nurses I was on my way and they said well make sure you bring a carseat...Kemp is going home today! I was blown away! and actually asked for more time. I hadn't had time to get ready. No car seat, crib ready, clothes for him...nothing. Hadn't had time! But it didn't matter. It would all work out and we got to bring our little Kemp home after 4 weeks in the NICU. An experience that taught us a lot about faith, patience, and watching for the little tender mercies along the way.
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